10th Dec - not sure what I did for the whole day, but was worried sick of AP, googling all about chemotherapy, knowing that her treatment will start on Monday and that she will stay alone and not staying with her relatives in Kelana, got me worried sick and I offered to live in with her for awhile until I get a job.
11th Dec- moved in to AP's place. AP lost 6kg prior Chemo.
12th Dec - HUKM. Blood test, blood count were good, but the young Indian doctor in about mid 30s or younger scares the hell out of us. He doesn't sounds convincing, to some point, kept saying he wasn't sure what was the regime, went through his protocol book, closed it and still said unsure, went out to speak to another Chinese doctor, came back and at least sounded more like he knows what to do with AP. Then we have to register for admission, get the medicine from pharmacy, only to know that the anti nausea medicine, Emend that cost RM275 or something like that for only 3 pills to counter each chemo drug injection. The Emend ran out of stock, waited till almost 5pm, what a day in HUKM.. running up and down, getting familiarised with the quite confusing floor plan. The nice food distributor gave an extra tray of dinner to me and we had our dinner together before the first ever chemo jab at around 7ish pm. It was a huge huge needle! AP's ex in law were there too and we all went home together around 9pm. A long day for me, an experience that no one would wish for, but good to be able to somehow be for someone for something, and felt good.
14th Dec - were worrying about another friend who had lung cancer final stage, managed to pull it through with the RFA treatment at Sime Darby Medical Centre which was all good, but unfortunately her own 15 year old daughter was diagnosed with Sarcoma too and was away for some weeks in Singapore and have not heard since. Just keep getting to know someone's friend with cancer, why has this become a trend now?
Was out with an old friend, getting interviewed for her column in NST re solo travel. Both her parents were diagnosed with cancer final stage last year and she got married in quite of a hurry, most of us friends only came to know when we saw her wedding pictures posted up in FB :)
Her mum with colon cancer didn't make it. She restricted her diet, avoiding the acidic food i.e. meat, dairy, egg, no fried food and so on. Whereas her husband eats everything and did well. On the final day, she told my friend that she wished she didn't restrict her diet, now that she wanted to eat, she can't. From this, I strongly feel like telling AP not to restrict her diet, but from how I had confused her before her surgery, I'm now very confused too. Information overloaded is sure not helping! Only know that each time I was asked, can I eat this, that? I'll just say, eat la...
15th Dec - AP discharged. Reading back my old message to my buddy A, to recall my memory, A asked for lunch on this day and I replied this:
*Err..dun tink so
*Really wanna try to b wit her all d time, At least until mon
*I was too worried & distress of AP home alone..so rather than having it haunting me..at least being wit her making me better,much better
Friends and families got worried with me, exposing myself to risk (minimal, but chemo drug do stays in the body of the patient for the next 72 hours), so long as I do not get in contact with my skin from any fluid..I should be fine. Back then, I thought only for December, just to give AP a head up, hopefully she knows how to handle on the 2nd cycle onwards.
Oops, suddenly found out that I have to go to hospital the next 5 days for AP's booster jabs. I wish I can do it for her, but I better not be too smart, let the nurse do the job.
Another old friend is recently involved with a new treatment called
Gendicine
http://www.genetherapyhospitals.com/PatientSto
ry2.html
Made the appointment for AP and cancelled it after when found out that it was quite costly.
16th Dec - took leave off AP, went fixing car tinted film, had my Hokkien mee fix, after having too healthy food for sometimes, I need some oily food! LOL.. went home after that. It's weekend anyway, AP has friends and families around, I should not worried too much.
17th Dec - fetch uncle for hospital follow up. Then
Thermomix demo lady is coming in for demo. I called her, wanting to cancel but she said she had prepared all the stuff. Thinking that I need to learn how to use this to cook for AP anyway, since she got it already, so I gave that lady a chance to drop by and
lucky thing I did! I finally found my new love again
;)
Went back to AP place, could not sleep the whole night, thinking of Thermomix, can't wait to get my own unit soon.
18th Dec - AP weight dropped to 39.5kg! Only been away from her for a day and I can see that she lost weight, got really dried and tired look.
19th Dec- My cousin is back from Cambodia, gotta pick her out from LCCT since she had a 10-11hours transit and didn't want her to be too bored sitting inside the airport, I promised to bring her out. Sent AP to hospital, had her blood test, but result was not out yet, and I have to go off, thinking that she should be getting her Chemo jab today, so off I go. Out with my cousin for a day, went home and had dinner with my family and sent cousin back to airport, off she went to Melbourne. Texted AP only to find out that she did not had her Chemo jab today due to low blood count! Drove back to AP place again.
20th Dec- AP's health is deteriorating, sent AP to hospital again for daily booster jab, busy hospital, parking is a huge issue there and getting a wheelchair is another problem. Was disturbing the doctor while AP has her jab, told doc that AP was having constipation and fever. Only then did he get the nurse to check her temperature and man she was in high fever at 39
°C! Doctor said go arrange admission to monitor. I went and settle the admission, then off to AP's house to cook lunch and barley water.
When I got back, AP was put into quarantined room, towards the evening around 5ish, AP felt chilly and asked for extra set of blanket even in her already very warm room (air condition was off). I did and she was already shivering when I brought in. Quickly wrapped her up and still in very very bad condition, her face turning pale, eyes rolling up, lips turning purple. I was walking in and out the room, unsure what to do, was at lost. The one and only doctor was busy attending to another patient who just got out from surgery room, seems critical too. Finally got the doctor in, all he did was put his hand on AP's face and said, "That's normal, fever symptom", asked me not to worry. I just hugged and rubbed AP's hands to give her more warmth while her cold chilly breath kept exhaling right onto my face. I felt bad for myself but yet that is the only thing I can do. Then Angel, AP's ex sis in law came and pass me the waiver form to redeem back my deposit for ward admission fees paid up and I quickly run to the counter. Not that I was worried about the money, it was like the good chance for me to take a break. It was like the most craziest thing I ever did in my life, hugging someone who seems like dying. Anyway, she passed out for awhile and when I got back to the room, she already sit up and having her dinner. Was so glad it was over. Her blood count dropped badly. Normal people, had a reading of 4-10 for White Blood Cell (WBC) and AP's dropped to 0.1, anyone with 1 is already very critical.
I left and went to meet an old friend who got back from Canada. Busy busy schedule. No wonder I don't even have time to think of work, worse, how to manage my bills. Let's just let the credit card bill piled up first.
21st Dec- Visited AP, won't discharge till Xmas eve. I get my day off, yay!
23rd Dec- demo lady came to deliver
my Thermomix, looking forward <3
24th Dec- hospital, AP got better, much better, discharged. Rushed home, A needed help to cook spaghetti for pot luck with her boyfriend and his friends. I was drop dead tired and a wedding dinner to attend, and have not pack for tomorrow's family trip to Cameron. Hmm.. Lucky thing with
Thermomix (Bimby), all is easy, but I have not tried cooking for 10 peoples before and because of rushing time and have to fetch A from her place and back to her place, should I know earlier, I would have bring my
Bimby out and cook at her place, save some time from driving here and there waiting for traffic lights.
25th-26th Dec- family outing
27th Dec- sis texted me that her ex colleague's daughter died of cheek cancer, was diagnosed 3 years ago at 6 years old and now only 9 years old, didn't make it even though the mum took full control on her diet and invested some thousands on good juicer. Sometimes in life, it is always better to take action now, before accumulating too much rubbish and too late to undo what have been done badly to the body.
Went bank to settle the big hospital bill for my uncle and lost my patience with the bank's teller. It was a miscommunication after waited at the wrong counter. Felt bad after hitting hard on the desk and apologized :P
Went visited AP, passed her some vege I bought from Cameron.
30th Dec- supposed to pick AP, discharge from her Chemoport insertion operation but brother took my car as his car's battery went flat.
2nd Jan 2012- Day 15th Cycle 1, AP's chemo jab
5th Jan- discharged
6th Jan- back to Klang and then another old friend, SY wanted to visit AP and said pick me from Klang since I've got home, off I went, back to AP place and we went out to Alexis, Great Eastern Mall to listen to live band ;)
7th Jan- play cooking at home, went out shopping and temple. We all went real hungry and had great meals at Eco Green Organics, TTDI. Grocery shopped and went home to make more meals.. We made meat buns and sushi rolls. Then we went off.
8th Jan- laze around at home, got a call from a friend in NST that my solo traveler story is out, cycled out to get a copy. Ooh, I appeared in the news ;)
Leaving on a Jet Plane
11th-13th Jan- Cycle 2 Day 1-3 chemo
12th Jan- My lovely cousin, Jo from Melbourne came for a stopover
14th Jan- AP discharged. Cooked steamboat with homemade vege stock, thanks to Thermomix.
15th Jan- home made siu mai, skin was a bit too thick, quite good for my first attempt I'll say, some more, we don't have corn starch.
16th Jan- getting radiotherapy mould done up. Had a read at their notice board and told AP to check it out. Said that she should eat seafood including prawns. We both were so happy, we went to Jusco right away and purchased about 800g of prawns. Took me 3 hours to wash and cook us a yummy Prawn noodles, my very first time trial. It was actually quite good ;) *I felt so good that now I can cook, I previously really can't cook. Thank you Bimby.. I love you more and more!
17th Jan- Steamed salmon with asparagus over pumpkin+Beetroot mashed, with over browned hashbrown. It was yummy! And a too generous size of fruit salad.
Driving to and fro from Setia Alam to Connaught, 40+km apart with the crazy jam, not very fun, but have to juggle between my family and AP, totally no me time :-(
20th-26th Jan- AP balik kampung to Penang
20th Jan- buddy, YB came back from Netherlands with her cheeky baby
23rd Jan- CNY day 1 ;)
7th Feb- 10th Feb - Cycle 3, day 1 could not start due to chemo port blockage, clear off and continue chemo. Was a busy time for me, buddy YB is here, CNY, then parting with YB, another friend from Melbourne was back too, and was invited to her younger sister's Hen's night and I offered to cook, thinking that I am already a pro with Thermomix but having to cook party dishes with limited time, rushing to hospital, since I'm nearby, also offered to cook for AP is quite a bit of a task. Silly me but all went well, only overly stressed out myself. And then rushing to Thermomix training in Kota Damansara, finished at 5pm, rushed to Connaught cooked a few more meals for AP and rush back to Klang, I was quite worn out.
22nd Feb- my first ever demo appointment secured, super happy but I couldn't estimate the time and I need to rush to pick up AP and ended up my prospect came late to my place and all the schedule went bad. Finished around 2pm and when I was leaving house entering NKVE tol from my house I texted AP and at the same time I received text that AP only just discharging. The timing was all good except that me & her were too far apart and traffic is beyond my control. With or without traffic, we are 40+km apart. As AP has not been taking her lunch, not that I was aware of, was too hungry and got pissed with me that I am only leaving home at that moment. All the same, I was too quite pissed as I was just about to start my career, especially for a person who has not been working since July 2011, my hole in my pocket was really really big, especially driving up and down for the past 4 months, petrol, buying vege that I normally don't buy when I stay with my parents, spending while unemployed is really scary. Having accumulating some amount in my credit cards is another big worry. Anyway, I still rushed out even though I felt like turning back home and continue to plan for my next demo since I have got the ingredients prepared and ready when I got a reply within minutes that AP will be fetched by her friend. I do at times felt that, was it my fault for simply offering when my offer wasn't really that in need. I could have been nicer to myself sometimes.
1-2nd Mar- Full day Thermomix training. Since I have only decided to only help out AP for December and having gone through 4 months (end Oct-end Feb), I think I've done my best and all I could, at times I felt that AP has become my lifetime partner and I worried unnecessarily. I finally decided to be nice to myself. Got myself started to concentrate on my new career.
Went out and demo on 3rd Mar, another demo on 4th and I have successfully got my 1st unit sold to my ex lady boss. Now, I'm quite motivated and happy that sharing is really caring.
1st Mar- me & AP had quite some tense going on but I took the initiative to write to her to thank her for introducing Thermomix to me, and it really changed my life, as I've been saying this over and over again, I'm back into love ;)
We were all good, and I have positioned myself back as only friends and not to get myself overly committed to a friend, ex housemate, ex uni coursemates whom not quite in touch ever since we left uni, only met occasionally, perhaps once or twice a year friend. I still care for her of course, but not as much as I've lost myself, starving at times but only to make sure she get all her meals sorted, and sending her to & fro hospital, fighting for a space in car park, paying ongoing parking fees, my petrol, my grocery spending. Well, that will make me appreciate others more in a way. Cause sometimes I too, never thought that every single mean of caring does count.
All good for her Chemo 3 cycles. Her radiotherapy cycles were not that bad, she can still drive herself around, and cook her own meals, at times, it's good not to pamper her so that she can be independent.
But I do worry that in the next 2 weeks or so, when her chemo cycles were to start again. All this worries thanks to my other cancer friend who had been through 2 cycles of oral chemo and told me that it was during treatment times that patients will give up their lives. I am still worried sick, yet, I know pretty sure I shouldn't be too overly committed myself to AP when sometimes I really can't make it, I might just as well, don't commit. Make effort to help out only when I'm free is better than promised and then couldn't make it in time.
